Confidence

 115/230 steps this morning. It felt good especially since I didn't get a good nights sleep and was awakened by my alarm at 5:30. I rarely ever sleep up to my alarm and this makes two days in a row that I did. But both of the past two nights I lay awake/read for quite awhile during the night. I love that I can sit in bed and read during the night if I am unable to sleep. It is one of my joys of being single and not sharing a bedroom space with another person. I have been single for four years now and I love it more each year. Living life independently gives me so much more freedom to chase my dreams. I also dream bigger and set goals that I know I can reach. I have also found a greater financial freedom by being single. It allows me to travel to destinations I never would have even let myself dream of visiting. 

I have traveled solo in the past, I took a few trips on my own, no husband or kids. I took a few with maybe just one of the kids or the whole gang. My upcoming trip to Alaska I was prepared to go on it solo when my friend pulled out of going. My daughter immediately declared that she really wanted to go so could she come instead. So it will be her and I. We have traveled together just the two of us before and really enjoyed the time together. We have a close relationship /friendship which I really value as she is my adopted (pre-teen at the time) daughter. Our closeness seems to be a rarity in the world of adoptees. 

I know when (if) I get to go to Nepal I will be going solo. It will be too long of a trip for her or any of my other kids to accompany me. I think I really want to do this alone anyway. I find that when traveling solo the trips can be more spiritual in nature as you are alone with your thoughts and keeping to your own timeline which opens up the world. I travelled solo in Northern Ireland 26 years ago. I rented a car, with only a few destinations in mind and no timeline or reservations. I discovered a lot about myself on that trip. I found courage that I did not know I possessed. I took in sights that healed my soul. I discovered a strength in independence that I was more than somebodies wife or mother. I felt strong. I felt confident. 

I like that feeling.