The Doubting Demon

 I have Nepal on my mind all the time. I have been watching you tube videos, following social media accounts and just day dreaming about being there. I really need to calm my brain down as it is still way too distant in the future to be so consumed by thoughts of this trip. I need to instead be concentrating on my upcoming trip to Alaska. It is going to be so amazing with all the excursions and sights we are going to see. Fantu will be traveling with me so I know we will have a blast. I find myself instead stressing over it. Maybe it's just because it is getting close and I need to get flights booked and all the last details figured out. Airfares are still so much more than I expected. The flights schedules are really horrible too. it's either early departures with a decent arrival time or a late departure with an arrival after midnight. The time difference is 3 hours so a flight that arrives in Fairbanks at 1:30 am will feel like 4:30 am to us. But I don't want to fly out from Austin at 6:00 am to get into Fairbanks in the afternoon. I hate that I am stressing over this because when I look at flights to Kathmandu it is in the range of 36 hours travel time and prices nearly three times as much as Alaska. I really hate how airlines fluctuate airfares. The constant ups and downs makes it impossible to know when to book to get the best deal. When is too early to book? Too late?  Can they not just set a price for certain seats and just leave it. It is just so frustrating. 

So the self doubt demon has been whispering in my ear telling me I'm a fool for wanting to do the EBC trek. Who do I think I am that I can trek 130 km up and back a 9000 foot change in elevation at 67 years of age? Wouldn't life be much easier to just sit on the sofa watching Netflix in my cozy home with clean running water, central air conditioning/heat, and food that I cook? Well but of course it would be easier and safer. I want adventure! I want to step out of the box and see things I only dreamed of. I want to give my time to help those in need. I need to hang on to my confidence and self esteem! Go away demon of doubt, I will not let you make my life boring.